Seeking His Love

Falling madly truly and crazy in love with Jesus Christ my Savior :)

February 5, 2012 5:51 pm


Luke 23:33-34 NIV

When they came to a place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Forgiving to be set free…it may sound easier than it really is but its something my mom has taught me to do mainly through her actions since I was little. I was talking to one of my girlfriends today and she said she forgives but wont forget and that was something I use to live by as well but where is the freedom in that? And do you think Christ forgives us but then says He will keep record of all the times we hurt him? The answer is no :) THANK GOODNESS It talks about true love in 1 Corinthians 13 with true love you will be able to forgive!! I believe in you…thats why I created this blog because if I can do it so can you! So lets begin :) :) 

The first time I had to forgive…(Dad) 

This took YEARS, a year of me being mad just out of spite, a couple years of hurt and couple months of testing out to see if I could be okay with him and then going right back to not talking to him every time he messed up….(and messed up according to me and my standards) I had very high standards for what I thought a father should be and mainly I would set these standards based off of the girlfriends I had around me and how there fathers were…and I was also very into buying my love especially when I knew my dad would mess up I wanted him to buy me things to get on my good side again. This went on for so many years from around 6th grade until senior year in high school…I had so much anger inside of me I had no grace towards him and the fact that he is human and makes mistakes but was trying the best he could and he did always provide but I was also letting so many people feed my mind that he wasn’t doing his part (even people in the church) and that’s what made me so hurt…even people in the church were judging him…weren’t they suppose to be the ones loving him BC Christ loves the broken and our family was just that. It wasn’t until one of my mentors told me she really thought I needed to forgive my dad and I was so mad she said that but she said just pray and ask the Lord if you should forgive him and ask him for the steps to take so I did  and that’s when the healing began. It took a year of writing him letters and telling him how I felt and trust me they weren’t very nice I wanted to pay for what he did to me so my thoughts and my motives were not pure but that was okay the Lord was going to stay right next to me and help me. And He did, I forgave my dad for everything and everything was wiped away after time, he became a new person and I viewed him as Christ viewed him with an overpowering love and grace! I saw him as human and knew the only perfect father I will ever have is Christ! 

People just don’t realize how much hurt you hold in when your not wanting to forgive…you can sit and explain a million reasons why this person has hurt you but what your not seeing is the Lord calls us to LOVE and loving is not holding on to a list of things people have done to you….you may be damaged but the Lord can restore your heart! Each time someone hurts you they hurt the Lord as well so your not in this alone! As you get older you don’t need to bring past hurts into relationships and families joy will come when you forgive and focus your eyes on Christ who will not hurt you! I hope this blesses someone today! Love you all!! 



February 1, 2012 10:36 am
"If you’re following the crowd or masses, the odds are you’re going the wrong way."

Nathan Morris (via msritz)
10:35 am

Lover of my soul healer of my scars… <3

10:13 am

Twisted Beauty

She is more precious then rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Proverbs 3:15

Morning Loves!!!

So this morning I picked up the Redeye, I haven’t lately usually I read it to see what the violence rate is and then look at the sports. Today I saw an article that said “Hotties that drive men wild” and I looked at the pictures and then read on and it said that this is a list that megan fox could barely make and angelina jolie didn’t make…so as I looked at it I instantly was like well dang, if megan fox and angelina jolie aren’t making this list what does that mean for the average girl who doesn’t look like Nicki Minaj Katie Upton and a few others that were on this “list”. This made me mad!!! We can get so caught up in trying to look desirable to men that we loose our identity and lists like these make us obsess with trying to be attractive or what society is listing as beautiful.

What they tend to leave out is even behind a beautiful glam look is a lot of hurt and loneliness but of course media leaves that out and even though we know celebrities have there troubles too we can so easily put them on the pedestal that leads us to feeling empty. Yes we should take of ourselves and do what makes us feel pretty but worth comes from within it has nothing to do with how you look, if your not investing time to love yourself you won’t feel beautiful because you will never feel like your enough.

I just pray we find our self worth from within and fight battles with truth from the Lord…Imagine being in love with someone who created you and thinks your are beautiful no matter how messed up we can be…and yes even when us ladies are emotional :)

Have a blessed day loves!

I will be posting verses on Fb on beauty today…I have to fight off lies myself!! <3 

December 5, 2011 10:24 am

Fearless Love…

Psalm 34 (NIV)

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.

I want you to think what a fearless life looks like to you?

If you feared no one or thing but the Lord. To me that would be not being afraid that people will think I’m “too much” that I’m pushing Christ on them to the point that they may not want anything to do with Christ. I would go to school happy, loving people with pure joy because my Father meets all my needs daily. I would no longer have to fight discouragement, I would know that even if I’m not sure whats next in life He has not forgotten me. I would love my family and perfect strangers with pure love just like my Father shows us. I would be understanding and wouldn’t be so quick to find reasoning in every situation. And I would FIGHT for my dreams, the dreams the visions the Lord has blessed me with.

Our Father says do not be afraid and know that I love you! Let go of the fear of the unknown and let your furture be defined by My perfect love.

Our prayer should be…

Lord meet me where I am. With your unconditional love that will make me whole and replace my fears.

Know He is able!

November 15, 2011 12:28 am

what area in your life do you need to careless of what people think?

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago". Ephesians 3:10                                  

If my faith is safe I am a disgrace. I can not get comfortable, I have a fear of looking weak and my Father is working with me on this…I’m praying He reveals to me what truly fearing Him alone means. Looking “weak” or inadequate easily leads to me just avoiding even opening my mouth at times. I have this idea that if I keep my mouth shut I will just avoid people passing judgement of how I may talk or my lack of knowledge or the level of how I communicate. The truth is the Lord is with us at ALL times, and He doesn’t put us in situations to leave us. I was just telling my sister today how THANKFUL I am that I never have to leave the Lord when I go home He is still with me, I have 24/7 access to someone who loves me and will never stop. How blessed we are. Why do we care what people think? I was having another conversation with a brother of mine and we were just talking about the constant battle with self (flesh) and how people can twist things and pass judgement so quickly that we may not “look” or “act” the part of a believer all the time, and people are right that’s because this battle is never ending until He comes back…but thank the Lord He says come as you are. I just read Ephesians 3:12 it says,  ”In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence”. We must trust God rather than human beings, knowing that He knows the bigger picture.

November 12, 2011 2:18 am


DESIRABLE Definition:: 1.Having pleasing qualities or properties: ATTRACTIVE; a desirable woman. 2. worth seeking or doing as adventurous, beneficial, wise. Synonyms: SEXY, LOUSIOUS, HOT… 

1 Peter 3:18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.

This sin that consumed me, I could not escape my flesh while everyone praised it I would go home and cry because I had this hidden secret, each time someone told me my flesh was beautiful it kept building up lies in my mind that I could not CONTROL….!

Lie ONE: You are beautiful you can get whatever you want.

Lie TWO: You would be sooo hot if you had a bigger butt

Lie THREE: You would be so sexy with big lips

Lie FOUR: Since you can get whatever you want, why not try to get every guy that everyone wants, just act like you don’t want him and you will get him…then try to change him, don’t worry you can change him…I WOULD END UP FALLING….This lie I believed and I END UP FALLING!!!!

Lie FIVE: If you don’t have sex your cool to play around with guys, just relieve stress by playing with your hormones. You don’t have to do too much but just enough to have a “little fun”

Lie SIX: Since everyone tells you that you look like “the girl from transformers” (and she’s number one as SEXIEST WOMAN) that means your sexy so why not tease him, you like this guy a lot so make him feel like he’s with the “sexiest woman”… people didn’t and still don’t know how much hearing I look like Megan Fox hurt me, and desires I had to look more and more like her just so I could try and feel the pretty people would say I was.

I remember spending HOURS in front of the mirror trying so hard to see why people liked me, thought I was pretty or even payed me any attention. I truly didn’t see why people would say I was pretty. I felt like such a lost person inside, I found myself consuming so much with makeup, fake tanning, eating disorders, spending hundreds of dollars on clothes and shoes every few weeks while everyone was praising who I was I was dieing to find happiness. I became so obsessed with MY image that I became desirable to myself, how I looked somehow in a twisted way became attractive to me, I only thought girls who looked similar to me were beautiful, or women who I wish I looked, or acted like. This fantasy woman that I began to chase…she was all I wanted to be loved by, I wanted to love myself so much. I was angry at every man for not showing me the love I wanted from them. I started to try and love myself, no one else could please me so why not try to please myself. Twisted thoughts came so rapidly. The enemy had a grasp on me…he knew I had this “good girl” image that I couldn’t screw up so masturbation was something that I would NEVER talk about because it would screw up my image, so he took it upon himself to trigger thoughts anytime I would see a woman that I thought was the definition of beautiful and have me want to please myself for those couple minutes to try to reassure myself that I am desirable too. This battle I was fighting, no one knew and for some reason I thought I could keep it from God too, so I was doing this for almost 2 years, but it wasn’t that bad because I’m saving myself for marriage so it’s not like I’m having sex like everyone else….I’m sorry the bible says “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” Col. 3:5 and I was doing ALL of those things…! If it wasn’t for Christ’s love I would have never been saved from this sin, He brought it up and brought it out…I still til this day struggle it isn’t easy, I was attacked right before I wrote this with the overpowering thoughts, it starts with the little lies, like oh its not that bad, if Christ loves you He will love you regardless what you do…my brothers and sisters this is why I STRESS for transparency, it is not easy and for so long I felt like I was alone in this struggle, I was DIEING to be released from those chains that were holding me down….and I will not be ashamed of my past for Christ has wiped it clean…! Exactly why we need Him, we need prayer and we need His word. He has taught me exactly what I was desiring to know…that the love comes from within and what people were praising was my flesh which soon will fade.  

November 10, 2011 10:45 am
10:32 am


"Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army one after another, calling each by its name. Because of His great power and strength, not a single one is missing". Isaiah 40:26

THATS MY GOD!!!!!! Hi I am His proud daughter, His love is so big, so overwhelming, has me smiling like I just got married. He swept me off my feet right when I was low and thought there was no hope. Caught up in lies of this world, blinded that I was cool when it came to who I was. See I thought because I was raised in the church I was good, I would die and go to heaven end of story. He said trust me you haven’t arrived I have plans for you….

He said, My daughter you are my princess I love you with all my heart, I see through your hurt and pain and know your heart. I see what you don’t want anyone to know, I see your tears you cry every night I hear every time you ask me if I am still there. I haven’t left you. Yes I see how strong you are, how you have to pick up pieces from other peoples mistakes, I see the pain you see each day and I know you want to give up. I just want to take you by your hand and lead you down this narrow road I have set up that leads to my kingdom. Don’t worry about trying to get your life together for me, I want you just the way you are. Broken, caught up in sin and blinded by all these lies. I love you, you are beautiful to me. I will be patient with you, I am willing to teach you what true love is…what the world is showing you is not what you deserve…my love, true love is patient, it is kind It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Read 1 Corinthians 13 I tell you about love in their. All I ask of you is to make this commitment with me, Heather I love you I want to work through you in ways you can’t even imagine, I know this is scary for you….I see your fears and I want to tell you to fear only me everything else is not for you to fear, I have already won this battle. The enemy will try to distract you even more if you make this commitment but TRUST me I will never leave your side….I love you!!!

Scariest thing to do is say I will trust you with all my heart when my trust was DESTROYED by everyone in my past. The one man I put my all in for a year broke all kinds of trust, girls I thought were my friends broke all kinds of trust, family…trust was destroyed completely. He said trust me even with the little bit of trust you have left and I will restore your definition of trust and I will show you that when you trust me you will be given the world, I will take care of the littlest things to the biggest. I will never leave you so even when you feel lonely you can trust that I will show you my overpowering love out of no where…! I love you, now go tell your brothers and sisters I love them just as much!!! Be united and work together, I will be coming back before you know it, tell them that I am Jesus Christ the one and only Savior!!!

November 8, 2011 12:53 pm